You Sexy Bitch

NEED I SAY ANYMORE ?

LAILA

My Mojo

Looking back at things before I lost my MOJO, I must admit that I had a
pretty healthy sexual appetite. Now let me start off by saying that I was
not and currently am not a promiscuous woman. I am a hypochondriac and I am obsessed with diseases of all forms, that by it' self has keep me on the straight and narrow(somewhat). Oh, and that fact that my ex-husband was and is such a MAN-WHORE. I spent a lot of time in my doctor's office obsessing about the disease of the week that could be lying dormant in my body. If fact , I was watching the news one night and they were discussing prostate cancer. Yes, I know that I don't have a prostate and only men can get prostate cancer,but I know that had some of the same symptoms. Really I did, I mean except for the obvious.
And as usual most conversations with my doctor usually end with her saying,

"Laila Honey, Do you need refill on your zoloft or your xanax ?"

" Have you taken both of them today?"

" Okay, then why don't you go ahead and take them now, and just relax yourself.There's no use getting yourself all worked up over this."

"We'll do a full blood work and check for everything when you come in for your next visit. Darling, after a little nap, you'll just feel fine."

"Oh, Laila honey, the next time, take your medicine and wait about an hour before you call the office. You nearly scared the new receptionist to death with all of the crying and yelling, We hadn't warned her on how to handle you."

MamaDear,Claudia, Marnie & I have all been patients of Dr. Monica Green for years. She is very aware of the insanity that runs in my family. Oh back to my sex life. I'm no ho;but I do enjoy a good time.

I just realized something this has nothing to do with my sex life at all......

Keep coming back.....

Laila

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Summer Vacation

This is what happens when you become an adult and go on summer vacation. NOT A DAMN THING HAPPENS !!!!
I bet no one has even noticed that I haven't posted on my blog. OK, actually one person has noticed. Thanks RED.
So to update you on what's going on with me, while I was on summer vacation.

1) Marnie and I haven't killed each other yet. We still live in the same house together,and Co Co our doggy is doing fine. Speaking of the house. We FINALLY went to settlement. Remember that we were trying to refinance our mortgage. Well Thank God that's over. Now, I can quit my job.

2) Upon signing the papers at settlement, Marnie made me promise not to go to work and "show my ass". I make no promises. But when I go to work, I do smile like the village idiot. Because I'm waiting for the right moment to perform my "I QUIT BITCH DANCE ", For Suezilla the gatekeeper to hell. It's just a matter of time. You'll know when it happens. You may even see it on the news.

3) I've gotten my MO JO back. For those of you who don't know the story.....A few years ago, I gave up the party girl lifestyle. And All that goes along with it..ie drugs,alcohol, casual sex, casual sex with random people, drunken random casual sex with drunken random people,and all other sex that falls into any category. Now I know what you must be thinking. Say it ain't so. It all comes down to this. When the police suggest that you not return to work,because your coworkers are considering pressing charges.( Please reread Passing Strangers) I took their suggestion and entered myself in to a "program". After wards, I took another suggestion by changing jobs and becoming a Bookstore Diva. And believe it of not, I maintained my sobriety for over two years. Enough is Enough. I am ready for drunken random casual sex with drunken random casual people.
I'm also planning a return visit to Hedonism in Jamaica for my birthday. That's where I celebrated my divorce from the Mexican. It was a good time had by all.

4) The cute guy from the guy has been calling me.I still don't know what that's all about. I personally think that he's trying to save my soul. Remember in the movie THE COLOR PURPLE, when they sang the song "God's trying to tell you something". Well this guy Steve; he is a personal trainer at the gym ,where I make a donation every month. He is hot as hell. He is enough to make you loose your religion. In fact, I heard that he used to be a stripper. Then all of a sudden he found Jesus. You see that 's the difference with Catholics and everybody else. We don't need to be born again. Once is enough. We know that all we have to do is go to confession at least once a year and make that once in a life time trip to Rome, we are straight. It also helps if you were active in the church during your youth,and your grandmother spends most of her time trying to pray your ass into heaven. Also I think that if you attended catholic school, that's extra credit in your favor. I myself attended catholic school from K-12. I think I automatically go to heaven or at least purgatory. Yet I digress. Steve is one of those true holy rollers. That freaks me the fuck out. Because even if by some miracle ,I was able to tempt him over to the dark side or my bedroom. I would be stealing a soul from the Lord. I would so automatically go to hell for that. But with a body like that, can you blame a girl for considering it?

Laila

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