Today is the first day......
Today is the first day of the rest of your life. How many times have you heard this bullshit ? I try so hard to be a positive person, no really I do. But as many of you know , I am cynical as hell. I don't know , maybe I was born under a bad sign. My zodiac sign is Sagittarius which means I am a flake. I am pretty much true to my astrological star sign with a few exceptions. I read my horoscope occasionally, but I don't make a big deal out of it. I did read this one astrology book that I thought was pretty good. It helped me get through yet another breakup. How To Spot A Bastard By His Star Sign. After reading this insightful self help guide,I realized something. That I was that bastard or to put it simply, "I am the girl ,your mother warned you about."
I once heard someone say, That if you look around and don't know at least one crazy person,than you are the crazy person. Granted, I just assume that everyone is crazy and deranged anyway, so when the proof actually rears it's ugly little head ,your not at all surprised. I come from a family of nutballs so it truly is genetic.
Jason my ASSHOLE ex husband had been telling people for years that I was (am) deranged ,but who cares what he has to say.(Your Honor,I know that the gun was loaded, but I was just trying to get his attention;Some people just can't take a joke.) Let's just say,that I know what the inside of the MD House of Corrections looks like. Speaking of jail, when I was a little girl I thought that everyone went to Jessup & Hagerstown to visit their relatives on Sundays. I come from a family of Hellions and we are no stranger to Johnny Law and how he deals with folks that don't respect the law..
Everyone has a favorite relative, mine is Uncle Chili Pepper. My grandmother did not name any of her children Chili nor was her last name Pepper. Having Chili as an Uncle has been a blessing as well as a curse. If your in a bind Chili is the person you want to come to your rescue. He's that shoot first,take no prisoners type of guy.
The curse is that you never know who Chili screwed over, and I understand it is quite a few people. Once I was having problems with this guy that owed me money. I sent Chili to talk to him. I promised Chili a cut of the proceeds if he got my money(A little incentive never hurts).
Chili was unable to recover my money(or so I was told). But strange enough,no one has seen that guy since. Alls well that ends well, I guess.
I once heard someone say, That if you look around and don't know at least one crazy person,than you are the crazy person. Granted, I just assume that everyone is crazy and deranged anyway, so when the proof actually rears it's ugly little head ,your not at all surprised. I come from a family of nutballs so it truly is genetic.
Jason my ASSHOLE ex husband had been telling people for years that I was (am) deranged ,but who cares what he has to say.(Your Honor,I know that the gun was loaded, but I was just trying to get his attention;Some people just can't take a joke.) Let's just say,that I know what the inside of the MD House of Corrections looks like. Speaking of jail, when I was a little girl I thought that everyone went to Jessup & Hagerstown to visit their relatives on Sundays. I come from a family of Hellions and we are no stranger to Johnny Law and how he deals with folks that don't respect the law..
Everyone has a favorite relative, mine is Uncle Chili Pepper. My grandmother did not name any of her children Chili nor was her last name Pepper. Having Chili as an Uncle has been a blessing as well as a curse. If your in a bind Chili is the person you want to come to your rescue. He's that shoot first,take no prisoners type of guy.
The curse is that you never know who Chili screwed over, and I understand it is quite a few people. Once I was having problems with this guy that owed me money. I sent Chili to talk to him. I promised Chili a cut of the proceeds if he got my money(A little incentive never hurts).
Chili was unable to recover my money(or so I was told). But strange enough,no one has seen that guy since. Alls well that ends well, I guess.
posted by lailaono @ 3/27/2005 02:27:00 AM
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